Odd Morning

     It is morning here and I sit before my computer typing this entry. It is a strange day. I practiced some qigong and Tai Chi this morning and feel pretty good right now. I am mostly avoiding social media and news today. I feel apprehensive about today. Like I need to be a bit more aware and alert. Like my heart and mind need to be still and listen. It is like that moment when you are walking through the forest and all the birds go silent.

    The song "The Wolf In Your Darkest Room" has popped up on my playlist and it feels like that. Something is out there stalking us all and we can only wait for it. Then I get a flash of insight. The world, my subconscious, the universe, the Dao, God, whatever you call it is presenting a horror film for me. And that thought brings some comfort. I like horror movies quite a bit. The suspense and relief of suspense is a lot of fun. And that is I think the only sane response to a situation like we are living through today. 

    If I identify too closely with myself as a character in this story, I will be terrified. And that won't help me respond to any situation effectively. If something bad is on the verge of happening, then one needs to remain calm and ready to face the situation. I have never been in any situation that was improved by panicking. So here I am writing this entry and practicing my writing again today. One has to practice if one wants to improve, right?

    My friend's grandmother is dying right now and I feel for her so much. It is her first time losing a grandparent and I remember how hard it was for me. I hope she is as alright as she can be. She is strong and clever and funny. However, I empathize with that waiting game that is late stage hospice. It is all a very strange thing. 

    Whenever things like this used to happen. When the world felt strange and out of sorts my late mother used to say: "It is an odd season." Those words ring true today. It is an odd season and no season lasts forever. No danger is eternal. King Solomon meditated often: "This too shall pass." The trick is not to fall into a state of panic and anxiety as things are passing. 

    In my experience, the universe is cyclical. A bad time is always followed by a good time. Happiness turns to sadness and the reverse also happens. When tired one rests. When restless one acts. It is so important to embrace that cycle. Not to resist the flow of things  but to ride it and use it. We have to stop trying to control the world and instead harmonize with it. Mikao Usui said: "Just for today, do not worry." That is wise counsel indeed. We don't live a big arc of the future and the past is generally beyond most of our means to manipulate. All we have is today really and I shall take a step back and enjoy the flow of this day.

    I wish you all well. I appreciate you very much. Thank you for reading this. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Morning Before the Storms

       Springtime in North Texas brings with it its share of storms. Big thunderheads can roil across the sky promising hail, tornadoes, high winds, lightning, and a general feeling of unease. If you live here long enough you get kinda used to it and begin to actually see the beauty in the vast and awesome power of nature. This very afternoon we are supposed to have some storms that will last long into the night until around 2 AM CST. I feel that odd feeling in the pit of my stomach that comes with thinking about the storms and what they might portend for me and mine.      A tornado is terrible but those don't bother me nearly so much as the massive hail that may come with a storm destroying vehicles and smashing property to pieces. Usually thank goodness the hail is small. Pea sized. Sometimes it can be the size of golf balls or softballs or even larger. Constant reminders that everyone in this world is subject to the whims of nature and you cannot escape from this.      Poverty d
Read more

Grappling, Compassion, and the Five Excellences.

      Today is a good day. I woke up. Took care of some auto repair issues and then I practiced my Tai Chi. This summer is all about focusing on my Tai Chi form and skills. Getting better at stand up grappling and closing the distance. Each summer I try to focus on one specific art or aspect of martial arts to play with and improve upon. It's fun because I set a goal and pursue it. Sometimes I even make it. My goal for this summer is to keep my purple belt Brazilian Jiu Jitsu friend from taking me down in five three minute rounds. It's nothing competitive, just good fun and a challenge to myself.     It is really interesting. I will do things like this and dig in my heels quite hard about learning even basic HTML. I am not interested in the marketable skills. I just want to do the stuff I think is cool. I am quite unreasonable on this point too. I model my life on the idea of the Five Excellences: Meditation, Martial Arts, Healing, Composition, and Presentation. The idea behind
Read more

The Pit I Was Born In

Image
     My name is Lisa Cole. I grew up in Asheville, North Carolina in the Blue Ridge Mountains. Everyone always looks at that place and talks about how beautiful it is. But it’s not beautiful. It’s ugly. It’s a shiny piece of candy pumped full of poison. For most of my life it was a goddamn pit that I was born in and I thought that I would never get out of there while I was alive.      I was thirty two years old. I worked as a CNA, a certified nursing assistant. My mom was a CNA before me. She used to say that she was a certified shit wiper. Because that is what it is. If you work in a place like Carolina Cove, where wealthy retirees end up spending the remainder of their lives, you end up wiping the asses of people who have had more opportunity and money than you can ever dream of as they endure the indignities of old age and impending death. My mom worked at one of the less posh nursing homes in the county and eventually just clutched her chest and died after an overnight sh
Read more