The Morning Before the Storms

     Springtime in North Texas brings with it its share of storms. Big thunderheads can roil across the sky promising hail, tornadoes, high winds, lightning, and a general feeling of unease. If you live here long enough you get kinda used to it and begin to actually see the beauty in the vast and awesome power of nature. This very afternoon we are supposed to have some storms that will last long into the night until around 2 AM CST. I feel that odd feeling in the pit of my stomach that comes with thinking about the storms and what they might portend for me and mine. 

    A tornado is terrible but those don't bother me nearly so much as the massive hail that may come with a storm destroying vehicles and smashing property to pieces. Usually thank goodness the hail is small. Pea sized. Sometimes it can be the size of golf balls or softballs or even larger. Constant reminders that everyone in this world is subject to the whims of nature and you cannot escape from this. 

    Poverty does affect how you view these events though. If you live at a comfortable income level then you can replace what is lost most of the time. If you are poor you live in constant terror that if something happens to the car you are completely fucked. No help is going to be forthcoming and people will look on sadly because they cannot or will not help and then you find your livelihood slipping away into nothingness. This is a terrifying feeling that makes the power of nature that much worse. You are helpless against nature no matter how hard you work. There is a fiction that one day we can get ahead of the bills and make enough money to feel ok for just a few minutes.

    I have spent most of my life chasing that being ok. Working jobs, running a business, trying to write or blog or something that could buy me security. It is on these mornings, before the storms that I think of Maranasati or Death Meditation. This is a practice that involves reviewing the Nine Contemplations of Atisha.

    Once I do this, I have a feeling of perspective and the realization that my worries and fears will not prevent a catastrophe from happening. They will simply make me miserable as the world unfolds around me. So I take a deep breath, realize that I am a guest in this world just like everyone else, and greet the day with a bit of joy and gratitude. There is joy now or there is pain now. The past and the future are irrelevant this day and I do not know what will happen. So I sit here sipping my coffee and blogging about my thoughts and feelings on this gray morning before the storms.

    If you are reading this, I appreciate you so much. I love you.

Comments

  1. UnknownApril 24, 2022 at 3:48 PM

    That's an amazing way to look at things. I tend to worry about things too much and it does affect the way I look at the world in a negative way. I need to do as you suggest and try to greet the new day with joy and gratitude.

    Thank you for your fine example.

    You are also loved and appreciated!

    ReplyDelete

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